Hapi Berday To Me

August 3 pala ngayon, buti ni-remind ako ng friendster at facebook na berday ko pala ngayon.  Parang ang sad natumatanda na ako, na para wala man lang pinagtandaan.  Parang na-shy akong sabihin na malapit na nang nag-goodbye ang number ng age ko sa number sa kalendaryo, pero sabi nga ng friend ko”Who the hell cares? May bingo pa naman!” Pero honestly speaking, this is saddest birthday I ever experienced.  I felt so alone, and lonely…don’t know why. Maybe it’s just the biological clock ticking, but damn it I don’t want complication.  I use to think that I am happy of what I have now, I’m just fine.  Why is it suddenly I felt empty and lacking? Apektado sa pagkamatay ni Pres. Cory? (At pinaki-alaman pa si Pres. Cory)

Pabayaan nyo na akong mag-emo-emo ngayon, berday ko naman. At nasira pa ang laptop ko…grrr!!!! Nice Birthday gift.  Last Saturday anniversary namin ni psuedo-bf, kasabay yata mailibing ni Tita Cory ang relasyong walang patutunguhan.  I have been thinking lately (kaya siguro sumasakit ulo ko kasi nag-iisip na naman), why should I stay on a relationship na walang patutunguhan.  I have been wasting my time, effort and emotion.  “Give it time”, sabi nya, but what the 3-inches stilleto hills ano pang time? Nakakasawa na.

Sheet…!!! I want to cry, but why should I?  Iiyakan ko ang nasayang na oras?  Cry for the things that I hope for but did not happen? My heart says, she wants the tears to fall but my mind is holding it looking for reason.  Tyring to rationalize, comprehend , it hold up.  “It’s ok, go ahead let it fall” says the heart but the ever stubborn and with the ice-princess attitude mind says “Hold it up, there’s no reason to.”  Packing tape of 1/2 sheet of paper… It hurts! 

Okey its enough for this senti…senti thing.  Just let me share to you my wishlist for my birthday.

1.  Bagong Boyfriend

2.  Bagong Laptop

3. Bagong Lot (naumpisahan ko nang hulugan 4 years and 11 months nalang)

4.  Bagong work…? 

5.Malakas na Adsense income para may pambayad sa #2 at # 3

6.  Bagong cellphone

7.  Bagong iPod

8. Bagong ME…

9.  Bagong Boyfriend ulit

10.  Bagong Boyfriend pa ulit.