Bugs Wisdom

Paunawa:  Ang inyong mababasa sa akdang ito ay hindi galing sa taong nag ngangalang Felixberto Baguyo, Jr., a friend and colleague of mine na mas kilala bilang Sir Bags. Because if it is so, sigurado puro green ang mababasa nyo…  

During my grueling and boring days, when I was working on my thesis for my master’s degree I tumbled upon a very nice and very relaxing computer game…the TUMBLEBUGS. It is not an online game, not even a multiplayer game.  It is so simple that you don’t need to memorize a lot of complicated shortcuts and other strategies that often used in Massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG) or any other RPG’s.  It is so simple that anybody who has a common sense of a three-year old can play this one.  I found it so relaxing and a good way to de-stressed.  Aside from that, what really make Tumblebugs special are the tips shown at the end of the every round.  Some of these tips are the cool, funny, hilarious, amusing, witty, sarcastic but quite true proverbs.  Here are some of my favorites…

  (Shucckss! Dumudugo ang ilong ko! Tissue please…) 

• A bit of hard work never killed anyone – but why risk it?

• Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.

• Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.

• Quando omni flunkus moritati (when all else fails, play dead).

• Everything your mother ever warned you about is true.

• Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don’t, why you should.

• Politician and diapers should both be changed regularly,  and for the same reason.

• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having the good sense to be lazy.

• Never test the depth of water with both feet.

• The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt.

• Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

• If you want your spouse to pay attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

• It is far more impressive when other discover your good qualities without your help.

• Never to trust dog to watch your food.

• Never bother to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and it bothers the pig.

• If you don’t pay you exorcist, you get repossessed.

• The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

• Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

• A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

• a likely impossibility us always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.

What Turn You On…?

 What turns you on? Well, 99.9% of male population would say big boobs, nice ass, slim waist, seksi hips, long legs and so on. While the 95% (another proof that females are smarter  than males) would say tall, dark and handsome with six-pack abs, solid chest, awesome biceps and mostly the part of  male anatomy which they hope would be above the normal measurement(owwwhh common you know what I mean).

      On this subject, I’m proud to declare that I belong to the upper 5% elite female populace who didn’t drool (as in naglalaway) over those studs.  Personally, I always like nerdy-brainy geek men.  The kind of guy who fixes their hair in Jose Rizal fashion as in nationalistic and dating and yung tipong Clark Kent and porma…yummy!  This kind of guy is my “turn-on” not the usual brawn with no brain jocks who’s IQ is lower than the measurement of their p@#is.  Most of these type of guy are usually self-centered, arrogant bastard who think they’re God given gifts to women. Well, of course, with exception to few.

          Those cutie nerdy-brainy-geeky type of guys usually lack of social skills which on the other hand, perfect by the social animals.  Simple looking cannot justify the essence of these men, you have to SEE them.  They’re the epitome of the saying “Do not judge the book without cover” “Do not judge the books with its cover” you have to see what’s inside (especially inside their zipper…oopps…).

          Talking to these type of guys would move your IQ a notch higher, because they’re so deep, as if you’re diving in Mariana’s trench kapag kausap sila.  Smart, intelligent, witty and funny that’s what they are, just don’t go into technical details kung ayaw mong mahilo at dumugo ang ilong mo.

          Where the 3-inches heels could you find this type of guy? Well, obviously you can’t usually find them at parties or bars or resto.  Try to look for them at libraries, computer and science laboratories and internet cafes.  In malls, they could be spotted at bookstores, computer shops and places where you could find latest gadgets.  They’re few, actually almost borderline to being an endangered species, and if could find one don’t simply look what’s outside you’ve got to see what’s inside their brain and heart and you will be amazed of what you could find.  And on the second thought maybe you could find what’s inside their zipper too…